Chickens and Wierd Monsters

A flying angry chicken
Venom
Imaginary rhino dragon
Big fat chicken on ground

Starting from Scratch Again

     I have not had a real online presence for quite some time.  Sure, I use FaceBook to crowdsouce information about what activity is good, or what local plumber can be trusted, but I haven't blogged in quite some time.

     Neither have I had a real rhythm to my life in a long while.

     For the last few years, I have been living reactively, bouncing back and forth between small crises like cups of spilt smoothies on the hardwood floors, making sure that we get to Mass on time, and grabbing groceries before total melt-down occurs, and falling into bed exhausted.  I have not had the presence of mind to establish a healthy routine of quiet prayer time when I wake up because I have typically been awakened by messes, a baby that needs nursed, mischief that needs to be undone and participants redirected, and general chaos.

     I know that chaos is a big part of my life, and it is not something that will go away anytime soon, but I need to claw out of the survival mode I have been using on autopilot and start thriving.  There has GOT to be something more to my life in God's plan.

     I have no delusions of grandeur, but it would be nice to live out that passage in 1 Thessalonians 5:21 : "...hold onto what is good."

     I am ready to stop holding on to the good with my fingernails as I go flying through life at the speed of chaos and destruction, stopping to recover only long enough to catch my breath and throw a quick meal at my family.  I am ready to live a life rooted deeply in a spiritual relation with God as my Father, not so much in my to-do lists that have more items than books in the Bible.  I want to stop thrashing and breathe.  I want to learn how to swim in this chaotic sea... Even better, I want to have faith that if I reach up my hand, that the Lord will pull me up to walk with Him.

     Realistically, that can only happen if I make the time for it, and make quiet, contemplative prayer a real priority.  Is contemplative prayer more important than a third load of laundry? Of course, it is, but can't it just wait until I switch these loads so the dress shirts are not wrinkled?  I have so many little battles with myself to win, and now I need to have the courage to ask for the help I need, and to become the person that I am called to be.

     How do you make time to pray in a deep, contemplative way each day?   How to you collect yourself and place yourself at the feet of the Savior when so many practical tasks cannot wait for your attention?  How many beggars are scratching at your door, starving for food and love, in need of a bath and clothes?

    With that, I must steal a moment to pray before I stir my concoction of Roasted Ratatouille Chicken that will feed my tribe of beggars tonight.

My First Yarn Along!

Hello again!  I am starting this blogging experience gently with a yarn-along, courtesy of Ginny's Small Things Blog.  She does a weekly Yarn Along, if you would like to join the party!

I have been reading much more lately with the rainy, muddy weather, and just being a homebody.  Last week, I finished Lois Lowry's Giver Quartet, and this week, I am reading Jennifer Fulweiler's Something Other Than God.  It is a page turner for me!  I especially appreciate all of her struggles with anxiety about death and mortality.  I am also reading a book by Robert Mackenzie called Setting Limits based on some rave reviews from personal friends.

I am studying Ephesians this week for my own personal spiritual development.  Just reading the first chapter this morning gave me hope, since God's plan for us is adoption and salvation.

I knitted a hat for my 7 year old son in his requested brown yarn in less than a day using a chain-ply technique, which I must highly recommend to finish projects more quickly.  I have cast on a modification of Mindy Wilkes's Holden Shawlette pattern in Elsbeth Lavold Silky Wool.  It is soft, but not as stretchy as straight wool, so I am taking my time to make sure I don't make too many mistakes in the lace.  I have changed the pattern, so it takes a little extra concentration to keep everything straight in my head as well.

Rise and Shine!

Tradition calls the family the domestic church.  I agree with this.  I have also leaned that the Liturgy is considered to be the collective work of the people, offered up to God.  I now like to think of my very family life as a liturgy, a work of prayer, to be offered up.  Somehow,  those mundane tasks intermingled with those beautiful moments of love and life, and even sorrow, are all intertwined and caught up in the vast cosmic life of the Church and join the very love, life, and sufferings of Christ.  That reality is something that I want to illumine my very existence every day, each moment.  I want to fully embrace the importance of my life, my work, my family, and each tiny thought, word and deed's potential sanctification.  I want to live a truly holy life.

That said, I need to find somewhere to begin.  Like many, I find it perhaps too easy to make New Years resolutions only to abandon them by mid-January, or to promise myself one thing and allow my progress toward that goal to be disrupted by other trivial matters that appear to be more urgent.  What I need is grace, the very help of God, to see this life for what it really is: an opportunity to know, love and serve God that I may be happy with Him in the next.  Now I know my objective, but how to pursue such a broad and multifaceted goal?  I need some enlightenment.  Enter this morning's readings from Mass.

Isaiah 60:1-5

[1] Arise, be enlightened, O Jerusalem: for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee. [2] For behold darkness shall cover the earth, and a mist the people: but the Lord shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee. [3] And the Gentiles shall walk in thy light, and kings in the brightness of thy rising. [4] Lift up thy eyes round about, and see: all these are gathered together, they are come to thee: thy sons shall come from afar, and thy daughters shall rise up at thy side. [5] Then shalt thou see, and abound, and thy heart shall wonder and be enlarged, when the multitude of the sea shall be converted to thee, the. strength of the Gentiles shall come to thee.

That is exactly what I need.  I need enlightenment!  I need to rise and shine!  Each new day, I am called to do just that, just as the Magi answered that call in the Gospel of Matthew, which we heard a few minutes later in Matthew 2:1-12.  I see now that I am called to see the star, the light of the world, in Christ, and to follow where it leads.  I am called each day to continue my work and prayer, my liturgy, but the only way I can see to do that is by the Light that is given me.  Only then can I allow my heart to wonder and be enlarged; only then will I have enough Love.  I have nothing of myself, only that which is given to me.

As part of our homeschooling this year, we embarked on an Advent journey utilizing books by Tomie de Paola.  Among some real gems we read as a family was a new family favorite, The Legend of Old Befana.  In this story, a woman is awakened by the light of the Christmas star coming in her window at night, then she witnesses the great procession of the wise men and others bearing their gifts for the Child who is King, and has come to change the world.  She is too set in her ways to follow the star promptly, so she misses her opportunity to travel with the caravan, and legend has it that she never finds the Child. 

Luckily for us, we can hope to continue that journey each day, living in the light, embracing each opportunity for its potential to be our greatest act to offer our Lord and King.  

Now I have a new way to explain this concept to my boy., I can give them little roles to play.  I can encourage them to be magi, or wise men, and offer their gifts to the King.  If they are stubborn, or busy doing something inconsequential, or just slow, I can caution them not to be Old Befanas.  Most of all, I can keep this lesson in my heart, thank God for it, and try to live by it.  Rise and shine.